In Defense of “Transformers 3”

Okay before we start I’ll get one thing out of the way and state: I am totally fucking biased in favor of this franchise. How could I not be? I’ve been a fan of Shia LaBeouf since he was on “Even Stevens,” I love action films, I’ve loved the Transformers toys since I was a kid, and Optimus Prime is the most badass non-human movie character ever. So even with all that said, I totally understand the criticism of “Dark of the Moon” --- the bad dialogue, the ridiculous story-lines, the gratuitous shots of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley ----- I get all that.

But you know what, I don’t care about any of that. Look at it this way. Michael Bay has to make a movie that appeals to the masses of people all over the world, many of whom never played with a Transformer toy in their lives and are only going to the movies and because that’s what they do in the summer. He has to blow up a ridiculous amount of shit to please people, and in that respect he succeeds.

Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment, who went to see this film looking for an Oscar winning script? Probably no one. What we all wanted to see was Optimus Prime being a badass, Shia being funny and heroic, Chicago getting blasted to smitherines, and of course, to see that beautiful model in action. Check, check, check and check. Also, you’d be hard pressed to find a cooler aspect of any action film this summer than the sky diving scene when the NEST team descends on Chicago from above amidst some exploding shit and a possible crash landing. What makes that scene even more amazing is that Bay strapped a camera to a guys head and ACUALLY HAD GUYS BASE JUMP OFF BUILDINGS IN CHICAGO.

Say what you will people, that was fucking dope. So this probably isn’t the best defense of the film that you can find out there, but my point is that I wanted to see some dope Transformer action, have some laughs with my friends, a hot babe and a conclusion to a trilogy that had me pretty skeptical when it was first announced. In that respect, the man delivered.

Go see the movie, the hour and half long climax battle scene is totally worth the price of admission. And if you don’t like it? Take it up with the Autobots, see what they think about it.